Christmas Miracles
by Teacup Biscuits
Summary: The Woodsman takes Bigby Wolf out for a night on the town... sort of.


Sheriff Bigby Wolf never had been able to understand Mundy holidays. Christmas was no exception.

Other Fables seemed to have no problem adapting to these strange annual occurrences, but Bigby had no interest.

He could be referred to, perhaps, as a bit of a humbug.

Late in the evening of Christmas Eve, Bigby walks into Deputy Mayor Snow White's office to find her surrounded by ribbons, paper, tape, and huge bags.

"What's all this for?" Bigby asks innocently enough.

Snow looks up at him. "I'm wrapping Christmas presents for people I know."

Bigby raises a brow. "Uh-huh."

"... I take it you don't celebrate Christmas?"

Bigby leans against her desk nonchalantly, looking at his fingernails and talking to Snow over his shoulder. "I don't celebrate anything."

"That can't be true," Snow replies as she continues wrapping, "You must celebrate something sometime. What about your birthday?"

"What's so special about the day I was born?"

Snow blinks, looking a tad stunned, and stops wrapping. "You just said the reason why that day is special; you were born!"

"So? It's not like it doesn't come around every year."

Realizing that she's getting nowhere with this, Snow brings up something else. "Thanksgiving?"

"Overrated."

"Valentine's Day?"

"Why bother?"

"Halloween?"

"Hate it."

"Come on, Bigby."

"I told you, I don't celebrate anything. Celebrating just isn't my forte, I guess." As he says this, Bigby scratches his stubble. "I just came by to say I'm going to be turning in for the night, I guess."

"You do look tired... Yeah, go rest, Bigby. I'll be here for a couple hours longer."

"A couple hours? Jesus... Look, do you want some hel-"

"Thanks but no thanks," Snow replies with a warm smile, "I enjoy doing this alone."

"If you're sure..." Bigby begins heading for the door.

"Oh, uh, Bigby?"

Bigby turns his head back. "Yeah, Snow?"

"Goodnight. And, uh, even though you apparently don't celebrate it, Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight, Snow." With that, Bigby leaves Snow alone in her office and returns to his apartment; room 204.

* * *

Bigby awakes the following morning in his chair. He is alone in his apartment, as usual.

He's been having trouble sleeping recently, though he's unsure why. He gets up and stretches before heading to the kitchen and getting himself a drink.

Soon, Bigby is downstairs in the lobby of the building. The downstairs is so heavily decorated that Bigby almost feels uncomfortable. He notices that his name tag has not been knocked to the floor today, however, and smirks a little.

He opens his mailbox just for the hell of it, not expecting to find anything, but is surprised to find that two small, wrapped packages are crammed in there. He reluctantly pulls them out and looks at them.

One is clearly from Snow White. The wrapping paper is dark blue with light snowflakes on it, accompanied by a ruby red ribbon. However, the other one is not wrapped nearly as gracefully, and the paper used is nothing but recent newspapers. There is no ribbon on this one.

Suddenly, Bigby is curious about the second package. He has no idea who it's from, but it's clearly from someone who doesn't know he doesn't celebrate the holidays... isn't it?

With a small frustrated sigh, Bigby holds the gifts under his arm and returns to the elevator. The doors close, and the elevator decides to mocking play a Christmas song through its speakers as it makes its slow ascent.

When he returns to his apartment, he carelessly tosses the wrapped presents down on his table. Another two hours go by before he finally decides to look at them again.

"Oh, what the hell." He grumbles to himself. He stands up, picks the packages up, and then sits back down in his chair. He hesitantly opens the gift from Snow White, trying not to rip the paper too much.

The paper turns out to have been hiding a little box containing a neat looking watch.

"Hm." Bigby gently picks up the watch and examines it. With a shrug, he slips it on. "Nice choice, Snow..."

He lets his eyes fall from his new watch to the second package, sitting on his lap. He slowly opens it.

Inside it another little box, but this time, when he opens it, he finds that all it contains is a small piece of paper.

"'I couldn't figure out what to buy for you. Meet me at the Trip Trap at noon.'" Bigby reads aloud. He turns the paper over; nothing. "Meet who at the Trip Trap...?" He ponders to himself.

* * *

At 12:05, Bigby Wolf walks into the Trip Trap bar. Holly decides to say nothing to him; instead, she only shoots him a quick glance and makes a gesture that says he can come inside if he so chooses.

A few people sit at the bar, mostly regulars. Leaning against the pool table, Bigby says, "So which one of you guys wrote me a note?"

The Woodsman stands up and turns to face him. "That would be me, Wolf. And your five minutes late."

Bigby makes a face briefly, chucking a little. "You wanted to buy something for me? Seems rather out of chara-"

"I know you don't celebrate Christmas, or anything for that matter, really. I just figured... Maybe you'd let me buy you a drink."

Bigby stares at Woodsman quietly. "... What's the catch?"

"There's no catch. I just kind of figure that I owe you something, and if gifts aren't something I can offer, than a drink is the best I can give."

"Why would you owe me something, Woody?"

"Well, I know it's in the past, but... I mean, I know you've changed. But I was thinking for a long time that you hadn't. I finally see now that you're a better guy, and I guess I just kind of want a temporary truce for at least one day." Woodsman stammers.

"Hell, if you want a truce, it doesn't have to be temporary..."

"Huh?"

"Just don't be an ass, and we can be friends."

Woodsman smiles. "Same goes for you, then." He then holds his hand out for a handshake.

Bigby shakes his hand firmly. "Then it's a truce."

* * *

Though not his original intention, Bigby ends up staying at the Trip Trap with Woodsman for the rest of the day. By the end of it, he's completely plastered. Woodsman, however, drinks the same amount as Bigby, but because he's a rather heavy drinker, he's built up some kind of tolerance and ends up not nearly as drunk as the Big Bad Wolf beside him.

"Alright, boys, bar's closing." Holly announces after Bigby slips off of his stool for the second time. "Jesus, is he okay? I never took Bigby to be a drinker."

"He's not a drinker. I think he'll be fine, though." Woodsman replies.

"Get him home, will you? I don't know if I feel comfortable letting the Big Bad Wolf walk alone when he's like this."

"Yeah, yeah." Woodsman crouches down next to Bigby and gently shakes him a bit. "Hey, Wolf, get up. I'm gonna take you home now."

Bigby grumbles a little, but doesn't respond much other than this.

"Holly, I think he's unconscious."

"Carry him, then." Holly replies casually.

Woodsman sighs. He turns Bigby onto his back before he extends his arms under Bigby's upper back and legs, and then he lifts him up. "Ough, this fucker's a little heavier than I would have expected..."

"Stop whining and get him out of here."

"Fine, geez..."

* * *

Soon, Woodsman finds himself standing outside of Bigby's apartment. He only knows the number because it was on the mailbox, but he's disheartened to find that the door is locked.

He looks down at Bigby, who's still out like a light. He almost looks peaceful.

"Wolf," He whispers to him in case he can hear, "Wolf, do you have the key?"

Bigby grumbles quietly, and his hand lamely digs into his pocket, pulling out a small ring with keys on it.

After lowering Bigby's feet to the ground, Woodsman takes the keys and soon manages to open the door. He drags Bigby inside and sits him down on the chair, and then he closes he door and drops the keys down on the table loud enough to make Bigby stir.

"Hmm...?"

"You awake yet?" Woodsman asks.

"Mm..." Bigby nods a little, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "Where are we...?"

"I brought you back to your place."

"Did you..." Bigby mumbles, though it's less of a reply than some sort of observation.

"... Well, I guess I'll be going now."

"No, Woody, stay a little..."

Woodsman whips his head around to look at Bigby, sensing a tone in his voice that he hadn't heard since the day he'd planned to rob Little Red Riding Hood; the tone of seduction. "Bigby?"

"Yeah...?"

"You're drunk."

"No shit..."

"Sit back down. You're gonna trip and hurt yourself."

"Pull the peg..." Bigby drones as he gets closer, even as Woodsman backs up and traps himself against the table onto which he had thrown the keys. "... and the latch... will drop."

Next thing the Woodsman knows, the Big Bad Wolf is kissing him. He very quickly thrusts the Fable away, but instead of fleeing, he stares in silent confusion for a long moment.

"What was that for?" Woodsman soon asks.

"I'm not sure," Bigby replies as he loosens his tie.

"... Is..."

"What?"

"Is that all you've got?" Woodsman assumes it was the alcohol talking at this point, but he wasn't sure if he cared yet.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be a cocktease, Wolf."

Bigby's face flushes, though only a little bit. "A cocktease? You're calling me a cocktease?"

"You heard me."

A strange, uncharacteristic ferocity appears in Bigby's 'big' eyes.

"Bigby, what big legs you have!" Woodsman said in a high pitched voice, trying to mimic Red Riding Hood.

"The better to prove you wrong with."

And, saying these words, this wicked wolf threw himself onto The Woodsman and ate him up.

* * *

The next morning, Snow White ran into Bigby Wolf, who stood outside smoking a Huff n' Puff smoke.

"I see you're wearing the watch I got you." She remarks.

"I am," He says, "Thank you for it."

"It was a spur of the moment sort of thing. I didn't really know what else to get you because I don't know your tastes very well."

Bigby abruptly hands her a small wrapped gift.

"Huh? What's this?"

"A present." He replies and crushes his cigarette on the ground before turning to go back inside. "Merry Christmas."

"I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas?" Snow calls after him.

Bigby turns back briefly and meets her eyes with a cheeky smirk. "I do now."


End file.
